90 Years

I celebrate life today as i say goodbye. cheers to 90 fruitful years. cheers to 75 lives that are touched by the legacy of family. cheers to the memory. cheers to all the happy times. cheers for the sacrifices that pushes us forward ...ever stronger ...ever hopeful ...ever free. 

you will forever be loved. till we see again. 

i miss my bwadew.

dangit i miss my bro... huhuhu

pain giver

silent..breaking...walls shaking...i dont know what!
silent and alone and terrbly seeking, for a reason?
maybe but deep inside i know, i am the one who shouldnt be

its breaking me inside. its slowly tearing me to pieces and i know, without a doubt, that i am, although i hope to be, no longer feeling what i about to happen, but i do, i am!

its hurting me, deep inside, without a trace you wouldnt see, but inside it breaks me to pieces as if i should be whole, free frm feeling...

i am breaking inside from the things that i have done, maybe not intentional, but still, i hope not anymore, causing you pain...

damn pain that hurts both you and me, although im sure its hurting you more, but i shoudnt give much credit, no, not to me, the one...the pain giver!

id do anything...your free

id do what you ask because you deserve to be free.
id do what is terrible because i dont want you to be;
hurting...in pain...and angry, yeah maybe you are!
i dont blame you because i was stupid and selfish

id do what you ask because you deserve better.
better than what i have and will ever be.
its selfish for me to think that i wouldnt be;
the one that you want, but i cant be, that person,
that someone that will not let you down.

you deserve to be free...you deserve to be happy
so for the pain ive cause you, ill draw the knife!
ill let it cut me as i did cut you...ill let it in.
accept thy pain o body for you have caused it on others.

id do what you ask because you deserve to be free.
id do what you ask because you deserve better.
id do what you ask because i am weak!
i do what you ask of me because i am no better. your free!

A lot of them hurting
Many a heart lays broken - searching
A lot of them cries out
Too many to simply disregard!
Yet they get in your nerve
Witholding understanding they deserve
We often do
We ofteh misjudge
And we say we love them

A lot of them are confused
Neglected, abandoned and used
They crumble within, they fall
Shutting themselves from the world
Alone... utterly alone...

***dec02-2000
my sentiments for GLMs and PLUs from IRC

Vanity

It kills...
Never fulfills...
Traps the soul...
Longs for more...
Unquenchable!
Unfathomable!
Never satisfied,
Unstoppable.
Decay Evident;
End uncertain.
Fall inevitable,
Its all, ...unattainable.
Yets its from you,
It becomes you,
Kills humanity...
Whats Left???
...vanity

***metanoia series IV
feb02-2000/9:45pm

Frustration

burning with PASSION
HOT with anticipation
deprived of resolution
TOO much want
TOO much DESIRE
Leaves one dry
Worn out... EXPIRED...
Uneasy to begin
Hoping within
Till no absolution
No choice, but...

***feb022000/10:29pm
part of the metanoia series

Believer

The sun shines and set;
Are all my needs me?
The sun comes and go;
Is there something more to look forward to
I see that destiny has its course'
For life is never truly at its worse,
Yes, they that believe - receive

***cellphone notes
10/08/2000
1:32am